the absurdity of being trans

Since coming out as trans and medically transitioning, my life has become utterly absurd. People have no idea how to deal with someone who is transitioning, especially when you aren't clearly transitioning from male to female or vice versa. The most absurd thing to happen to me was when I ended up in a meeting with the Dean about the appropriateness of my nipples.

I frequently swim at the campus pool, and I had been swimming topless for a few weeks without any issues. But, I decided to email the Dean of Students to find out the rules on (legally) "female nipples". At the time, I was the TA for a course where I was ostensibly female: the professor called me she, my emails sent from my feminine legal name. And after running into one of my students in the men's bathroom, I thought I should know the rules in case one of them saw me topless at the pool.

​So, I emailed the Dean of Students explaining that I was legally female but on testosterone and wondering if I could swim topless. He responded immediately, asking me to meet with him ASAP. I set up a meeting the following week and was prepared for him to have serious issues with my toplessness. Note that this is a 6'5 white man that I've never met before. I go to his office, he closes the door, looks at me, and goes "yeah your nipples are fine. Florida state law is a little ambiguous so if someone calls the cops you could have trouble but personally I don't care what you do on campus". I asked him for that statement in writing and went to the pool later that day. 

So, I got what I wanted and I've tried to be happy about it. I do swim topless about once a week. But it bothers me that I'm not sure I would have gotten the same answer if I were another race/less masculine/better endowed. Why did he need to see me in person, in a closed door meeting, to say my nipples were fine? Why not issue a campus wide statement? Why is this rule applied on a case by case basis? But, the absurdity of it all keeps me laughing

sorry mom I'm topless on the internet